I can't come in today because ...
- Can't find anything to wear
- I just put a casserole in the oven
- Broken A/C
- My plastic surgery needs some tweaking to get it just right
- My feet and legs fell asleep when I was sitting in the bathroom, and when I stood up I broke my ankle
- Rebooting Bamboo server
- I was gambling at the casino all weekend and still have money left, I need to stay to win it back
- TFS Maintenance
- I'm stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store
- Playing with team logos
- I got lucky last night and don't know where I am this morning
- I put my uniform in the microwave to dry and it caught fire
- Rebooting Jenkins
- I accidentally got on a plane
- Son is sick
- I was sprayed by a skunk
- Drinking gin
- I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious
- Spouse is upset
- My bus broke down and was held up by robbers
- Ants in my pants
- I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity
- Can't find a petsitter
- Dropping son off at summer camp
- My dog ate my laptop
- I forgot to come back to work after lunch
- Picking up my son from school
- I couldn't find my shoes
- I hurt myself bowling
- Dropped my phone too many times
- I was spit on by a venomous snake
- Aj n z km km 3 I'm waWY=9AZnnzooxb m hmm res titling
- I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow
- A hitman was looking for me
- Fisheye got hit by a crucible
- My curlers burned my hair, and I had to go to the hairdresser
- Knots in Stomach
- I eloped
- Got stuck in 3rd party apps
- My brain went to sleep, and I couldn't wake it up
- My cat unplugged my alarm clock
- Car not starting
- I had to be there for my spouse's grand jury trial
- I had to ship my grandmother's bones to Kazakhstan
- Sick to my stomach
- I forgot what day of the week it was
- Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night
- A tree fell on my car
- My monkey died
- Flooded Carpet
- I have a boo boo in my tummy
- Wife sick
I'm Feeling Lucky!